I had to inform my brother that he wouldn’t be able to stay with us much past Christmas today. The adoption process is going to pick up, and we need to start re-decorating our until now “spare” rooms for children.
I should perhaps fill in some back story. My older brother’s family moved to Lincolnshire (about 200 miles away) about six weeks ago. Ever since, my brother has been living with us and commuting into London. For that month he was supposed to be looking for a job where his family have moved to, in readiness to “go home”.
While it’s easy for me to criticise, it would appear that he hasn’t really been trying very hard at all. I’m wondering what he will think if he ever reads this. If I was him I would be missing home terribly - I would take any job that paid barely enough in order to move home - only he isn’t doing that. He’s only going home every other weekend, and even then he doesn’t seem to be job hunting while he’s there, or doing “family” things. I have to keep reminding myself that we are very different people (as W has humorously pointed out), so I cannot compare our lifestyle and values.
The news that we’re going to have to start changing the house ready for the impending arrival of children was probably a shock to him - it will mean his easy life is being pulled out from under him. At the same time as feeling bad for him, I also have to remind myself that we are here because we cannot have children, and adopting children is myself and W’s chance to do something for ourselves, and for the children we adopt - and if that means hard decisions have to be made, then so be it.
When my brother moved in he knew it would be temporary, and he also knew he had to find another job nearer home, but it still makes me feel guilty.