I hereby crown my brother with the title “Monsier Mange Tout” (Mr. Eat Everything).
There is a long and protracted story surrounding the events that have ended with my brother living with us for the last month. I will attempt to condense them into one paragraph for fear of boring you…
Six weeks ago, my brother’s family moved house to 200 miles away. He did this without first finding a job where they were moving to, or planning where he might stay to continue working in his present job until he finds a new job closer to home. We agreed to let him stay in our spare room for a few weeks while he sorted everything out. In the last 6 weeks he has had one interview which didn’t come off. He has been home to see his family for two of the 5 weekends he has been away. It is the week before Christmas, and he didn’t go home last weekend. He gets in from work every night, says he needs to use the internet to look for jobs, and instead spends all night cracking jokes with friends on various forums for his hobby (which appears to be more important than his wife and child).
That’s the back-story.
My brother is overweight. I’m talking three times the width of me. While some of you out there who are perhaps carrying a few extra pounds will instantly become defensive at this point (because you have some genetic or medical reason), I have discovered exactly why my brother is so much wider than me.
Last week I cooked an entire packet of sausages, and W made ratatouille - enough for about 6 people. We would normally put the leftovers in the fridge, and it would provide sausage sandwiches for me, and warm lunches for W for a couple of days. My brother got in late from work, asked if he could have a sausage, and we said “of course - help yourself”. He ate all the sausages. All the ratatouille.
Last night we made risotto. We made enough for 6 people - with the plan that W could keep the leftovers in the fridge and take them to work for lunch. My brother was late home, and we told him that the risotto was still on the stove - to help himself. He ate it all.
There is no mystery why my brother is three times wider than me. He eats three times more than me. I could regale you with lots of other stories following a similar theme, but it all boils down to one thing - my brother believes his own lies.