The underground trains were so overcrowded this morning it could have been funny. I have never seen it like it.
I guessed something was wrong when I arrived in Paddington underground station, and the crowd in the approach tunnel to the eastbound Circle Line platform were not moving. One chap struggled past me (in the crowd) on sight of a train coming into the platform - still 20 yards away, and I just shook my head at his stupidity.
When he reached the platform he no doubt discovered the masses of people that were preventing us from reaching the platform. Idiot.
By the time that train left, I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. I have seen pictures of trains in India with this amount of people in them, but never London. I chose to wait 8 minutes for the next train, and busied myself with RSS feeds on my phone (a godsend for those boring moments of the day).
By the time the next train arrived, the platform was as overcrowded (or even more so, if that can be believed) than it had been previously. I managed to get onto the train, but spent the best part of the journey hanging on to a handrail above my head, not able to move in any direction. As we progressed from stop to stop, people were starting to argue because they could not get off the train - they physically could not make it to the door. That’s imprisonment, isn’t it?
Something struck me while hanging to the handrail and trying not to invade people’s space. Women on the tube don’t seem to mind falling into you (or me, at least) - whereas men tend to try to avoid it. It’s strange. During the scrummage this morning, two (rather nice looking) women ended up squashed against me - through no fault of our own. They seemed rather too willing to use me as a leaning post. It isn’t the first time this has happened either - I’ve written about it before. Perhaps I look trustworthy or something. Perhaps it’s the wedding ring.
I will admit that I try to make sure I put on deodorant and aftershave before leaving the house, even though I leave at an ungodly hour (many people working in London seem to do this when they arrive at the office). I’m guessing that a part of the subconscious reason for doing it is to make the journey a little easier for any girl that may end up squashed against me on the London Underground - and to ensure that they don’t think badly of me.
I’ll avert my gaze, keep my hands to myself, and smell half decent. Not a bad way to present yourself. Not everybody is quite so saintly of course. I’ve seen them. I think girls have an in-built radar for them too.
Anyway - I have arrived in one piece, and another day is starting.