The journey into work this morning was uncomfortable, but not for a reason you might imagine.
I sat down on the train at Maidenhead, unfurled the Macbook, and got on with reading emails, and writing to a couple of friends I have been meaning to catch up with recently. When we arrived at Maidenhead a pretty blonde woman - perhaps in her early 40s - got on the train, and sat opposite me.
When we arrived at Slough I half noticed her re-arrange herself to make room for other travellers getting on the train - she scooted across her seat, and had to re-arrange her dress/skirt to keep her modesty.
I never gave her another thought until we were a few minutes from Paddington and I put folded the Macbook up to put it away. The lady opposite had fallen asleep in her seat, and in doing so her legs had fallen open, and presented me with far more than I should have been presented with… if I had looked I could probably have told you what brand of underwear she was wearing.
All this was caused by the design of her dress, I hasten to add. While standing it probably looked very smart, but while sitting, it split open right up her lap.
I spent the remainder of the journey trying not to look at her. It’s strange - I’m not sure if I would have felt more guilty if she had woken up at the instant I glanced at her, or if other passengers had seen me glance - although they were probably just as uncomfortable as me.
I then found myself caught - should I wake her up and alert her to her predicament? I chose not to in the end - and busied myself with looking out of the window until we arrived at our destination.
As the train rolled to a stop, another panic descended upon me - what if she doesn’t wake up? I will have to wake her, and she will inevitably look down and realise her compromised situation - and die of embarassment. Luckily she woke at the instant the train rolled to a stop and gathered herself together without a moment’s thought… perhaps her panic at thinking she had fallen asleep made her unaware of her unintentional show.
Many people reading this would probably be thinking “why on earth didn’t you look?”, but I cannot describe how uncomfortable those few minutes were… sat opposite somebody - close enough that their knees are inside yours, and… well - I’m not describing the scene again.
In a way, I was thankful it was me sat there and not some old letch. The thought has stayed with me during the morning though - should I have woken her and told her? She would probably have died of embarassment.