There’s this girl that gets on the train at Maidenhead, and she doesn’t shut up. Ever. I swear she doesn’t breath either - at least not in through her mouth - there’s no time. Just to make it worse, she speaks with this nasal tone that can’t help but induce narcolepsy in those around her (or at least me). She could be used as a weapon at conferences.
Imagine the thoughts that went through my head when I left her on the train at Paddington, walked the length of the station, got on my underground train - which broke down - and changed trains at Edgeware Road - to hear her voice drifting across the masses of people squashed onto the replacement train. Wonderful. And my iPod battery is flat, meaning I can’t drown her out with some soothing Metallica or something.
Just to finish the commute in fine style this morning, I watched as a short plump woman walked out in front of a cyclist. I knew she was going to do it, and the cyclist knew she was going to do it. She had no idea the rest of the world existed however until she was in the road, with a bicycle stopping right in front of her nose. She didn’t say sorry.