This morning we were visited by our social worker, the social worker acting on behalf of our prospective children, and the social worker who took them from their birth family.
Needless to say we were up late into the night after returning from pub quiz last night (where we did atrociously) cleaning the house, tidying up, and trying to make sure we gave a good impression in the morning.
Having woken at about 7am, we again rushed around putting things away, re-tidying things, and basically fussing like idiots. Yes, we were stressed even though we didn’t admit it to ourselves.
When the adoption services team finally arrived, the longest meeting we have had yet began. We learned about the history of the children, what they are really like, the concerns for their past and their future, and also of course had our character, views and personality pulled to pieces again. This went on for three and a half hours today.
It was both physically and emotionally draining.
Towards the end of the meeting, a DVD was retrieved from a bag. We finally got to see, hear, and experience the children we have read, thought, and talked so much about over recent weeks. It was both exciting and nerve wracking - seeing them play, sing, dance, giggle, and show off for the camera.
Suddenly they are not names on a piece of paper, or photographs. They have character, voice, and emotion.
After several years of soul searching, questioning, and self doubt, the future is beginning to seem like an awfully big adventure. While we still try to keep a lid on our excitement and expectations - the adoption placement may still fail after all - it is becoming increasingly difficult.
It’s like knowing a piece of you - as a couple - is missing, and you have now been shown it through the glass of the candy shop window - only the shop is still closed and will not be opening for some time. You return week after week to spend time looking through the glass, and talking to the people who have the keys.