Today had originally been planned as our first day out with the children - but due to our already having done that, and torrential rain throughout the day, we ended up staying at the foster carers with them from the moment they woke to the moment their heads hit the pillow.
We were up at 6:30am , and arrived in time to get the kids up, in the bath, dressed, through breakfast and into their normal day. The rain outside meant we spent the best part of 12 hours couped up in the playroom with the children. The inevitable happened - we saw our first attempts from the older ones to manipulate us, our first tantrums, and our first floods of tears. Thankfully the foster carer showed up in the nick of time to back us up in laying down the law.
Visitors - particularly grandparents - are going to think we are horrible. While we have to remember that they have been through it all with us, it is tempting to give in and sweep the children into your arms when the tears start - particularly when you have their past in the back of your mind.
All the advice we have been given - by the social workers, the foster carers, the books, and other parents - is to hold the line. Be strong. Do not bend in the face of howling tears. It’s very, very hard indeed…
We do have some experience to fall back on now though - we have seen the manipulation from start to finish with each one. We have seen the jealousy of each other, the inability to lose at games, and unwillingness to share. Many would have buckled today, and perhaps gone home in tears - exactly the opposite happened to us.
We drove home laughing about the children’s attempts to push our buttons - to bend us to their will… and by god have they some will power.
p.s. we changed our satellite television subscription tonight to include the childrens channels.