We met with the social services staff this morning to review our first few days with the children, and decide if to extend the introductions period. We thought it best not to tell them that we already have all of their clothes, toys and remaining food supplies at our house - might have raised a few eyebrows.
Why were we so confident?
The foster carer that looked after the children for the last year or so has fostered over ninety children. If ever there was a voice of experience, she is it. While we might not do everything in the same way she did, we listened to her every word - she has the kind of experience that career social workers can only dream of. She thought we were good within the first half hour of us meeting the children, and ended the week heaping praise on our efforts along with the rest of the social services.
It would appear we have unwittingly become something of a “reference case”. While sat in the meeting this morning there was a hint that we will be called upon to talk to prospective adopters in future - to tell our story and give guidance; to share our experiences.
While walking towards the government offices this morning it felt like we were about to be found out - that somebody would raise their eyebrows and say “you know, it’s a very good act, but you’re not really parents are you - and we’ve seen straight through you”. Of course when we arrived the red carpet treatment happened yet again. Despite our nerves and apprehension, we have breezed through the entire adoption process from start to finish.
While talking to the social workers about our first insights into the children, they were somewhat taken aback at just how much we had noticed - or rather, how closely we had been watching. We were again reminded that our references for parenting - our close friends - are not normal at all. We are very lucky to have exceptional parents surrounding us - the kind of parents we aspire to be. The bar has been set very high by our peers, and striving to get anywhere near it in our first week both ground us down, and lifted us enormously at times.
The saying about children paying back that which you put in proved itself this week. The expected characters of the children has been utterly wrong (much to the enjoyment of the foster carer who told us so from the beginning). We have several open, brave, chatty, fun and at times high spirit children in our lives now - quite a contrast from the damning paperwork surrounding them. We are of course already tremendously biased and make no apology for that.
Following the clearance of today’s hurdle, tomorrow morning marks the beginning of the rest of all our lives.
We pick the children up in the morning, never to return. A future filled with adventure, wisdom, fun, and every bit of love we can muster will begin.