Today was a very up and down day. Highs and lows.
W took the eldest to the cinema for the first time this morning - the first time in her life. She also went on the train for the first time in her life, and met a future friend (we hope) in the shape of our friend’s daughter who will be in her class at school.
It went brilliantly. The same little girl who couldn’t climb the climbing frame on her own a couple of days ago is suddenly brimming with confidence. She has become a very different girl.
There had to be a snag, and it came in the shape of her sister, who was left home with me and her baby sister all day. We went to the shop on our own this morning to buy milk (we figured I should do this as a “Dad and daughter” thing following her tantrum yesterday). The entire day went brilliantly… she even learned how to climb onto the “big girl” swing in the back garden with a little coaxing.
Everything fell apart after we all went to the playpark with the eldest’s new friend before dinner this evening. The middle one realised her older sister had a friend, and that somehow she had lost a part of her sister. We’re pretty sure they never had friends while in foster placement.
After we arrived home a while later, the following happened…
Picture scene - eldest is watching cartoons, youngest is doing a jigsaw, Mum is cooking dinner, and Dad is replying to emails… middle child walks in carrying a board game.
Middle Child - “Let’s play this
Youngest - “No”
Mum - “She’s doing a jigsaw”
Middle Child - “Will you play with me?” (directed at oldest)
Oldest - “No - I’m watching this.”
Middle Child - “Mum, will you play with me?”
Mum - “I’m cooking dinner… go find a toy from the playroom”
Middle Child - “Dad, will you play with me?”
Dad - “I’m busy”
Middle child then gets up, slumps face down in the couch, and complains “Nobody likes me!” and starts crying when Mum and Dad tell her to stop talking rubbish.
After the volume went up a bit further, I of course decided to draw the line in the sand… “Are you going to stop having this tantrum, or are you going to bed?”… “NO!” (volume level goes up).
I lifted her into the air, and started carrying her through the house, accompanied by tearful pleads of “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”… she promised to cheer up and find a toy, so I let her back down… she ran back to the couch, and resumed face down crying.
Cue Dad to hold the line. Straight to bedroom, accompanied by screams for the next 10 minutes, and repeated calls for anybody who might listen. In the end I went up to talk to her, tell her we love her, and give her a big hug. A tearful little girl then made her way to the kitchen to apologise to Mum, and give everybody big hugs.
Then she refused to eat half her dinner. Her little sister then copied her. This of course meant no pudding for anybody, and early to bed.
It doesn’t take a genius to work out the link between “nobody likes me” and her sister having her first new friend… jealousy.
Let’s just hope we get through a day soon without some kind of tantrum - today’s nearly had W in tears. I think somehow Dad’s are better at switching off when punishing screaming children than Mums… you know it’s hard, and you know you cannot buckle for their own good.