Today I talked to my employers about the effects my extended absence is having on the children. I voiced my concerns.
I worried last night about it - about the slow realisation that my hours away from home were causing our middle child to begin stammering, our eldest to have nightmares, and our youngest to repeatedly wake in the middle of the night.
Having passed some of the burden to those who have shipped me off to London for the last year, I felt both guilty about causing them problems - a failure of sorts - and also felt better for sharing the issues I face at the moment.
Hours later, this evening, I have come to the realisation that many parents probably do - that my family are now my focus. If push comes to shove, I will choose them over my career now. If the nature of my work prevents me from being the father I aspire to be, I will change things. I will make our lot better.
I will lift our world onto my shoulders, and turn it. Change it.
It will be hard sometimes, but it will be worth it. Of course the children have no clue that such introspection and reflection surrounds their young lives, or that so much is being done to aid them in their first steps towards stability, safety and a platform from which they might have a better chance to launch themselves into the world.