Before going to bed last night, we talked to the children about them getting dressed as soon as they woke in the morning - rather than waiting for us to “help” them (our helping tends to become “we get them dressed”). At the same time as trying to offload some of the things we do to the children, we are also trying to encourage them to be more independent. Getting themselves dressed is something they are easily capable of, even if they do love it when we are there to assist.
So - 7am arrives, and we can hear that the children are up and about. Despite our having left their clothes neatly folded in their rooms, the eldest cannot apparently get dressed because she has no tights - and is sat on her bed crying. Little miss five is sat in the middle of her bed in her pyjamas, complaining that she “needs help” - having not even taken her pyjamas off. Little miss three and a half is meanwhile dancing around with nothing on, giggling like a maniac.
I snapped.
I marched downstairs and fetched tights for the eldest, marched back and threw them at her (we had already told her where to find clean ones). I then marched into the younger kids room and shouted “WHY DO YOU NEED HELP? YOU HAVEN’T EVEN TAKEN YOUR PYJAMAS OFF! YOU’RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO GET DRESSED!”
Cue bum in the air, and fake crying. That’s really going to help get her to school. W arrived at this point, hastily wrapping her robe around herself, and ordering me out (to get on with the usual routine of making lunches, breakfasts, and clearing the kitchen).
Despite our gradual withdrawal of help over the last few weeks, and despite the inevitable tantrums, tears and accidents, the kids are doing remarkably well. Perhaps the biggest victory so far this year is our youngest - not even four yet - who can now get through the night without pull-ups. She thinks she is tremendously clever each morning, and so do we when greeted with “Look - no wee wee’s in bed Dad!”.
Our eldest is now eight years old. Last night we talked to her about making her own cereals on a morning - so she doesn’t have to wait. “Can I do that tomorrow?”… “You just try and get yourself dressed for school tomorrow”. “Awww”…