With the advent of my 36th birthday earlier this week, I have been wondering how much I have changed over the years - how I am different than I was before.
Physically, I’m starting to show my age.
My hairline is ever so slowly creeping up my forehead. I’m not about to go bald, but I am starting to look like Dracula when I get out of the shower. Various bumps and lumps are starting to appear. My skin has officially lost the elasticity it once had - even my dimples are turning into creases.
Various injuries sustained over the years make my knees sound particularly tuneful when walking up stairs - I’m guessing it’s the various tendons inside that sound similar to rope being pulled through the middle of my leg (if you can imagine that) - mostly owing to the spectacular kneecap dislocation I achieved a few years ago.
Getting drunk is no longer an option. Recovery takes far longer than it ever did before, and I’m more aware of the time I waste when feeling rough.
On the good side, I am perhaps fitter and stronger than I have ever been. My eyes are still above 20/20, but I am still colour blind.
Mentally, I grow far more cynical and disenfranchised each year. At 21 I was full of crackpot ideas, theories, thoughts, and opinions. I’m slowly turning into my father-in-law, who will often remark “it’ll never fly” when witnessing my attempts at building furniture.
When I was 21, I read books about all manner of wacky subjects - life on other planets, neuroscience, particle physics. When you do find me with a book now, it will invariably be a novel by William Gibson, or Douglas Coupland.
The most unexpected aspect of getting older is that I find it far easier to talk to people - especially women. I’m not sure if it’s a case of “don’t care any more”, or just that I have been places, done things, and seen a lot of stuff now. I am confident in who I am. Most of my close friends - both real world and internet - are female. When I was younger I was painfully shy and self critical.
In some ways I miss the optimistic dreamer that I once was - but I also value the experiences, knowledge, wisdom, and people I now know (and in many cases love to bits).
How do you think you have changed since you were young?