Having a membership at Tumblr sometimes pays off in the strangest ways; this cross my path this morning, and I thought it was too good not to share;
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Kitchens don’t have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.
A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
When in love, it is customary to burst into song.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.
All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.
The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
The hero never gets the flu or a cold or any illness that would force him to “take a day off”.