I’m taking it upon myself to follow the instructions advocated by Darren Rowse in his book “31 Days to Build a Better Blog”. At this point in time I’m not entirely sure why, but it seems like it might be a fun diversion, and if it makes for better reading, that can’t be a bad thing. I doubt I will be running through the days in anything like a consistent manner - for me, the title may as well read “31 days happening some time soon”. Rather than waffle on about the act of blogging itself (which has to be the most boring subject in the known universe - almost as bad as amateur poetry), I’m just going to get on with the first exercise;
An Elevator Pitch
It strikes me this is next to useless for a personal blog, but I’m persevering. The elevator pitch is the “sell” you might do for your startup company if you were stuck in a lift with a venture capitalist. I guess the only problem with this hypothetical situation is that if I did find myself in that situation, I’d probably forget all about the blog, and try to sell them my idea for a reindeer bucket that doesn’t slide off the roof…
Solve a Problem or Need
Through a little creatice license, I can satisfy this requirement. The blog stops me from going mad. It’s for me. The fact that others might find itoccasionallyinteresting or amusing is besides the point. Hmmm… on reflection, perhaps it’s not a good idea to tell visitors that they don’t matter.
Define Your Audience
You. You’re my audience. There could be millions of you out there, or nobody. I don’t really know (well, actually I do - given the accuracy of modern web analytics tools, but I’ll choose to ignore them for the moment because they will side rather decisively on the side of “nobody”). While you might have wandered in here completely by accident, you will no doubt be enchanted by my sparkling wit, and tales of daring do, and become a loyal subscriber. Ahem. Stop laughing.
Be Clear
This blog is about life, and life is complicated - therefore this blog may at times diverge markedly from the “clear and simple”. Hopefully the intellectual giants that make up the majority of my presumed readership (both of you) will easily divine the true meaning behind the rubbish I spout.
Keep It Short
Oh dear. I’ve really buggered that one, haven’t I. I don’t really do “short”.
Stand Out
If this means “make an idiot of yourself”, I can actually lay claim to being rather good at that. It’s kind of a built in ability - often despaired of by our children, and my other half. Some might call it being an open book - I think my other half might more accurately term it otherwise.
Be Intriguing
If intriguing can also mean “you know that day Sprocket Industries couldn’t answer any customer enquiries? …. that was my fault”, then I’ve got it covered nicely.
Be Energetic, but not Hyped
Given that “free” time in my life tends to occur rarely, any pretence of being filled with energy and vitality will be remarkably short lived. That said, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything filled with negativity and/or foaming invective…
Consider using a Question
Easy. “Why on earth are you not reading my blog?”. It’s a stupid question though, because the obvious answers include such gems as “because I have a life”, “because you’re not interesting”, “because you write about as well as Grunthos the Flatulent”.
Be Ready to Expand Upon Your Pitch
Is this the same as dropping to your knees and begging? I could probably be quite good at that - except, being as tall as I am, if the potential benefactor was quite short, I would only be reducing my height to his or her eye-level, which would probably be misconstrued as a slight on their stature.
So there we are. A little thinking around my “Elevator Pitch”. I don’t think I’ve quite got the right end of the stick, but you never know - a stork might fly past in a minute and drop money down the chimney - it’s about as likely as talking money out of a venture capitalist in an elevator…
The next step is apparently to gather feedback - go for it - do your worst