When the first tweets rang out across the twitterverse this morning about the online Apple Store closing it’s doors for a few hours, I informed my colleagues - any colleagues interested at all in the ensuing idiocy - what was about to happen.
Within minutes Engadget, Mashable, and the Guardian website reacted with breathless reportage journalism - second guessing each other on what the emperors new suit of clothes was going to be made out of.
“The processor will be made from recycled bananas”
“It will be faster than a locomotive”
“While switched on, everybody near it will be happy”
(you think I’m joking).
The truth was far funnier.
Apple renamed a well known technology for inclusion on their revamped line of Macbook computers. Light Peak became “Thunderbolt”. A bit like saying “we’ve invented a brand new drink called Foowanga” when everybody knows damn well it’s coffee.
Emperors new clothes indeed.
The fanboys were out in force for the rest of the day, marvelling over the few available pictures of the lastest uni-body lumps of aluminium fashion labels - analysing them, and speculating over their capabilities as children might a pack of top trumps.
That’s it, isn’t it.
The Apple product line is a set of hugely expensive grown-up top trumps, where the psychological defence of self forces those who have “bought in” to continually strive for a better card - fearful of the 18 month shuffling of the deck that could see half their hand become less shiny, less desirable, and less sought after than that new banana powered one…