When I was about five years old I tried to flush our cat down the toilet.
I rapidly learned about the gymnastic ability of cats as it appeared to rebound out of the toilet bowl, open the skin of my forearms up like Zorro’s can opener, and exit the house like The Flash.
As luck usually has it with five year olds, my Mum appeared at the bathroom door moments later, and asked what I had done to the cat.”Nothing”Perhaps it’s no coincidence that when the cat was about 20 years old, it took to shitting in my bedroom.