While turning the pedals of my mountain bike en-route to work this morning (I hesitate to call what I do “cycling”), an ominous crunching sound escaped my right foot. After a cursory glance down at the cause of the sudden jellified crank arm, the bike that i have so lovinglynotlooked after at allwas disintegrating around methe spindle around which the pedal has spun for it’s entire life had sheared off, forming a wonderfully sharp shard of metal.
You know it’s surprisingly difficult to pedal with one leg. I know. I found out pretty quickly. For the remaining mile of my journey to work I wondered how one legged cyclists manageI reasoned that they don’t have the flailing shard of metal to content with, which probably does their confidence the power of good.
With rain forecast, I left my bike outsidea bizarre revenge on my part for it’s failure. Of course I had no idea at 9 this morning that the heavens would recreate a scene from the bible later in the day (you know the terribly constructed narrative that Christians trot out to describe the furious retribution a diety may wield against puny mortals lest they pray, and pay to fix the church roof).
Long story short, nothing got washed awayalthough the bike was probably cleaned to a certain extent during the deluge. The saddle was also soaked, which I guess was the bike’s revenge on my ass for the cycle home.
I wonder if attaching personalities to inanimate objects is a sign of madness, or just a part of the human condition. Here I am, describing my bike as a mean spirited thing that’s obviously got it in for meothers talk to their pet dogs and cats, or to their tomato plants.
Anyway. The childrenwho were supposedly reading to each other in bedhave descended into some form of pitched battle between the bedrooms involving count-downs, explosions, and numerous threats about not going to birthday parties, or no longer being “best friends” (in reality, that pretty much exhausts their inventory of worthwhile threats). I better go and bang their heads together. Figuratively, of course.