Anybody that has endured my online adventures for any amount of time knows that I change my mind about platforms and destinations on an almost daily basis. I thought therefore that it might be entertaining to review the various places I can be found, why I frequent them, and what I think of them. TwitterThe perfect place to drip meaningless content into a vast, fast flowing river. You are one voice among millions, and even if thousands follow you, nobody is listening. The real value of twitter is in discovering the colour of Kim Kardashian’s underwear seconds before celebrity websites breathlessly report it throughout the world. TumblrWhile feeling good about yourself, Tumblr is the perfect place to invest time in order to realise that no, you don’t really matter that much. No matter how creative you think you might be, a photo of a kitten, or some girl’s ass is always going to attract far more attention than your thoughts about world hunger, or insightful commentary about the day. FacebookBest suited to family, friends, and psychotic people you once knew or went to school with who you will one day “un-friend”, and receive hate mail from. Sharing anything invites long forgotten acquaintances to stalk you to the ends of the earth, pass comment on everything you say or do, and/or seek attention in the dead of night with sopporific sob stories. WordPressPerfect for long rambling tomes of navel gazage. If you’ve always wanted to write a novel about yourself in 20,000 parts, this is the place to do it. You can enable all manner of social sharing gadgetary, but it will not be used because in reality you’re the only person remotely interesting in your own life.Having slammed each platform, I am now of course going to invite you in the most ironic manner possible to visit each destination above, to follow, friend, subscribe, stalk, comment, like, or whatever the hell else you might do at each place.
This has been a public announcement on behalf of the procrastination party.