It’s been five days since I last wrote in the blog. I have nothing to report. I sometimes wonder why I still write. Writers are supposed to be enamoured with a noble mission, aren’t they? A crusade to fill books with stories - as painfully as possible if Hemingway is to be believed.
I just write.
Perhaps I’ve taken a leaf out of Norah Ephron’s book. She said a blog post was sort of like an exhale - that it didn’t have to be about anything - that it only needed to make sense for as long as you were writing it.
I guess I do have news though.
The company I work for has been acquired by a much bigger company. Rather than heading to a Christmas party in the corner of a restaurant with a small group I’ve known for the last twenty years, I’ll be heading to a large hotel booked out in it’s entirety. Hundreds of people. Hundreds of new faces. It’s both exciting, and terrifying in equal measure.
I’m terrible at facing new people. Or at least I’m terrible before I get there - then I will talk to anybody about anything, and they’ll think I’m personable, charming, funny, and all those other words that people throw around. Of course it’s all an act.
I’m actually happiest sitting at home, in the dark, on my own, in front of a computer screen with a blinking cursor. You press a few keys and words appear on the screen that weren’t there before. It’s pretty magical really. There’s a strange sort of romance to it.
A few days ago I discovered a cache of “abandonware” - software that isn’t owned by anybody any more - and installed “Wordstar” on the old PC in the study. I wrote about the old PC, didn’t I? I have an old PC in the corner of the study. It’s at least twenty five years old. It runs Windows XP, and can now run Wordstar too. If you’re wondering, Wordstar is the word processor George R R Martin used to write Game of Thrones, on a decrepit computer that’s not connected to the internet.
It’s kind of freeing - sitting in front of a computer program where the only thing you can do is write. You can’t run anything else - you can’t check out social feeds, respond to emails, or anything else. All you can do is write.
That said, of course I’ve installed far more than Wordstar on it. I also installed an old chess program called “Hiarcs”. It very cleverly plays at your level - adjusting as you get better or worse. After sitting down quietly and getting thrashed by it for several games I was pleasantly surprised when it estimated my rating as being far higher than I imagined. Of course now I’m terrified to play it again, for fear of it beating me again, and my rating dropping ever further.
I love chess. I’m just not very good at it.
Oh dear.
I appear to have filled the screen with all manner of forgettable nonsense. Best I stop, otherwise I might write what I really think about something. Never a good idea.