This evening you find me sitting in the dark of the living room on my own, finishing off a glass of wine. Our old cat George is sitting across from me, staring at reflections in the patio door. I wonder what he can see that I cannot.
It’s been a long day.
After working on a complex project throughout the day and forgetting to eat properly, I was completely drained. I wandered to the corner shop and bought a bar of chocolate and some energy drink. It didn’t really work. I don’t seem to be able to hack my body in the same way I once could. I have to eat and rest properly these days.
I’m conscious that I haven’t been running recently. I need to get back into the habit. Even though I carried injuries during the charity event last summer, I came to love the early morning miles.
I’m conscious that I’m trying to burn the candle at both ends at the moment - and not succeeding. When not working I’m either recording content for youtube, working on the garden, doing chores, or whatever else needs doing - and not really spending time with anybody.
All too often I find myself doing whatever needs to be done to keep other people happy, or to chase my own tail. It feels like the world has become a plate spinning challenge - how many plates can I spin? How long can I keep them spinning for?
I’m reminded of the line the author in The Shining wrote over and over again - I think it was “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”.
Maybe I need a walk to the pub, and a catch-up with friends. Hell - if the weather’s nice - perhaps a walk along the river too.