I can never quite decide if “having a quiet weekend” is missing out on opportunities to be here, there, and everywhere, or if stepping away from the mayhem is somehow more valuable. I know people talk about “investing in yourself”, but it can easily get to the point where you’ve not seen anybody for weeks or months.
Writing “not seen anybody” sounds horrible too - because I obviously cross paths with co-workers and clients all the time at work - but that’s not by choice. It’s a difficult one, isn’t it. We still become friends with co-workers, but somehow it’s different than those that are outside of the every day grind.
I think that’s why I like the little (and we’re talking very small) circle of friends I’ve made online over the years. They know who they are. I wonder if they know how much I’ve come to appreciate them though - that they are in my life - no matter how infrequently we might catch up with one-another.
I sometimes see photos from them on social media - usually of their children growing up - and think “oh my word - I remember so-and-so being born”. It’s kind of wonderful when social media works properly - to be afforded the occasional peak outside of our own life - to remember that life goes on.
I will freely admit to being the worst for focusing entirely on whatever it is I’m doing or interested in, and falling away from everything and everyone around me.
This evening I looked in on a “pen pal” website I joined during the pandemic. I found myself wondering about reaching out again - but then thought that might be wrong. Given that those days lead to wonderful friendships - some of which have sustained - I wondered if searching further is somehow similar to walking into a bookstore when you already have a stack of unread books.
Did you know in Japan there is a phrase for the accumulation of unread books? “Tsondoku”. It means “pile of reading”.
I wonder if there’s a word for old friends you haven’t reached out to for some time - that you really should?
I’ve always found the forging of friendship both mysterious and magical. You can spend all the time in the world with somebody, and never really know them - and you can also meet somebody and feel like you’ve always known them.
Jim Henson once said “there’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met”. Perhaps if there was, it wouldn’t feel so special.